Managing Social Gatherings with Dementia

Social interaction, for everyone, is a fundamental human need. It is the need for love, connection and belonging. In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs this is central, after basic physiological & safety needs have been met.

Social connection helps minimise isolation and loneliness, reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression and improve quality of life. Social activity has also been shown to slow the progression of some dementia symptoms. Additionally, research studies have identified loneliness as a risk factor for developing dementia.

For people living with a form of dementia, social gatherings, or even the thought of them can induce feelings of anxiety. Family and carers may also feel anxious planning social activities due to worries that the environment is not suitable for the person they care for. The progression of dementia may mean people increasingly struggle in social situations, so naturally withdraw. This may be due to memory decline, language difficulties or a reduction in confidence, but it is important to encourage socialisation to support connection and conversations which can maintain active brain health. Regular socialisation can also support routine and orientation, eating habits, sleep and increased self-esteem, all of which can help to slow the progression of dementia.

In this blog we will look at what challenges a person living with dementia might face when attending social gatherings, and what family carers can do to support them. It is important to try to be open and honest about a diagnosis of dementia with the people you socialise with. Initially this may seem difficult, but having conversations is a chance to dispel any myths or stigma people may have about dementia. Sometimes people assume a person with dementia may no longer want to be invited to things, but such conversations enable greater understanding and support and reduce the chance of isolating them. If you are unsure how to explain to friends or family, you can always suggest they look at our website or attend a dementia supporters’ session at Sage House.

If you are a person living with dementia, a carer or hosting someone, then here are some tips to prepare:

Pre-Planning for Social Gatherings 

• Make sure that family and friends have an understanding of dementia and some of the symptoms the person may be experiencing. This way they are better able to manage expectations.

• Ensure that everyone is aware of the plan for the day and set some boundaries. These may be around timings or perhaps conversation topics to avoid if there are known triggers.

• Think about the most suitable time of day. In winter, with shorter days and dark evenings, a morning or lunch time engagement may be more appropriate. If you do choose to meet in an evening, perhaps arrange it at home, in a familiar and safe environment. This removes the need for travelling home in the dark which may increase confusion, as evenings are often a time of increased anxiety and disorientation for people living with dementia. Also consider routine and fatigue levels. Some people take a while to get ready in the morning so a late lunch would suit them best, whereas others may get tired after lunch so meeting earlier may be more appropriate. Try to put the needs of the person with dementia at the forefront of any plans.

• Always involve the person in planning discussions and talk about the people you are meeting. It can be helpful to look at photographs and names of people just before as a reminder, especially if they are not people who you see regularly.

Environmental Factors at Social Gatherings

• Make sure you carefully consider the right place to host or attend a social gathering. Be aware of busy environments that can be noisy and overwhelming and try to pick somewhere quieter or at least with a calmer area.

• If you are visiting a public venue, try to arrange a table where the person can sit with a wall behind them, rather than other tables, so that any noise is coming from one direction. Make sure there is somewhere safe and quiet that you could go to if it becomes too overwhelming. Sometimes this may mean just taking a short walk outside or even sitting in the car for a few minutes.

• If you are visiting another house, then check with the hosts if there is a spare room that could be used if they need a quiet moment and some time alone.

• Sometimes a person may have increased anxiety around accessing the toilet so go straight there on arrival, so they are familiar with the location. It may be necessary to prompt the person to use the toilet or to accompany them if in a strange environment.

  
  

Conversations at Social Gatherings

Giving a few communication tips to friends and family can really support the person with dementia to feel included. Some tips are to:

• Speak slowly and clearly and repeat if needed.

• Allow time for the person to respond as they may need longer to process things.

• Keep eye contact and position yourself in front of the person where possible.

• Try not to finish their sentences or speak for them but keep them included in any conversations.

• Try to avoid open-ended questions but give options instead for them to answer.

• Use body language and gestures to support the spoken word and be aware of their body language, too.

• If appropriate, then point to items, people or pictures when mentioning them.

• Be interested in what the person says even if they have already told you.

  
  

Activities at Social Gatherings

• Involve the person in any preparations e.g. preparing food or setting the table.

• If there are children at the gathering perhaps encourage them to create and decorate name badges for everyone which will support the person with dementia to identify people.

• Have some familiar photos or postcards from a recent visit to hand as a conversation starter.

• Have a playlist of familiar music to sing along to as this promotes wellbeing and can help a person relax.

• Simple board games or activities like skittles are a fun way to engage if conversation is difficult.

• Try having some appropriate topic cards as a useful way to encourage conversations.

  
  

Food & Drink

• Have a selection of non-alcoholic drinks available, especially if the person is taking prescribed medication. Offering a non-alcoholic version in a traditional glass e.g. a wine or cocktail glass can be helpful for familiarity and reminiscence. 

• Be mindful of caffeinated drinks later in the day as sleep hygiene is very important for people living with dementia.

• When selecting food, try to keep to foods that are familiar and manageable. Don’t overload the plate as smaller portions are often preferred and in some cases a buffet with finger foods might be easier to manage.

• Some people may experience increased visual difficulties so be aware of colour and contrast when serving food to make it more easily identifiable. Using bright coloured contrasting plates and place mats is also helpful.

At Sage House we promote positive activities for people living with dementia, encouraging social mental and physical stimulation to maintain functional abilities, reduce anxiety and enable improved quality of life. For people living with dementia, joining in our activities or perhaps a chatter table is a good starting point to increase confidence and self-esteem, which in turn will make attending social gatherings easier.

We know it can also sometimes be difficult for family and friends to interact with the person with dementia. The Wayfinding team at Sage House are happy to support with communication tips and better understanding around dementia or signpost you to one of our many support groups. For more details, get in touch via email at info@dementiasupport.org.uk